I have recently asked you, your opinion on what my next topic should be and it was a tie between self-help and skin and hair products.
I then realised how hard it was going to be to open and help you, whilst I am helping myself.
So… Where do we start. My name is Shanakay and I’ve been avoiding this topic for a long time. Why ? I guess when it comes to losing a loved ones, you don’t ever get over it. You just learn how to cope with it. I’ve been trying to cope, it gets hard. I will say it gets easier with time but it can also get worse with time.
The first time I experienced a big loss was my Grandad, at that moment I was too young to understand but it hit me hard. Although I’d moved from Jamaica to London at the age of nine, I still remember vivid moments with my Grandad. The second big loss I had was my brother in 2015, at the time I was studying so that I could return to higher education. My whole world crashed and I don’t think I was able to recover. Less than a year after that I got the horrible news that a friend of mines passed away. That was the breaking point for me. I had already closed myself off to emotions. It made me a heartless person, towards everyone and everything I loved. I decided to get some advice about bereavement counseling.
At first, there was awkward silence between us. I would attend once a week. Nonetheless, I found it awkward and after the first two sessions, she couldn’t shut me up. It was bizarre how little I knew about myself and my emotions and how much she was able to pick up. I felt a sense of emancipation, for the first time in a long time. Every Wednesday afternoon, it would be a safe haven to speak about my feelings and what bothers me.
And I left after my six sessions a new person. It was hard but it was worth it. What I can say about my whole experience is that It will be hard It might not necessarily get easier. But it will be worth it in the end. Everything happens for a reason (Don’t Ever Think It’s Your Fault)
(Life never stops, so why should you stop yours, Just keep on pushing, You can do it)
You Are Loved Unconditionally
You Are Here For A Purpose